i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
