I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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