i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
