ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
