I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
