these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
this just has baby written all over it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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