Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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