mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
