Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Every concussion has its silver lining
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize