Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
