she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
