I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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