I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You were trust falling into bushes
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
