You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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