at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
