he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
