Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
