It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
