Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
