So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
