No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
