is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
