Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize