if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
