Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
