What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
