Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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