Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
