you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
