quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
