So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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