Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
