Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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