you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
