whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you will always have a special place in my vag
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize