We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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