I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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