btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
