I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
