The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize