i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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