my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
