So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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