Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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