btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
