So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
