They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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