If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he thought i was a dude.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
