I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
