Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize