I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize