I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
