it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
