At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
