And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
