What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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