And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
