i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
