Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
