You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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