school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
