Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
