Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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