But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize